Frank Coleman logo

Early Conversations with ChatGPT

I broke it, first try. Check out this screenshot. I have my own ideas about what constitutes stress-testing the system.

Had better luck with these. Granted, this was very early days, and I was using ChatGPT version 3.5, which could not connect to the Internet, and was limited by a data set that only went up to 2019.

The current version 4 has greatly expanded capabilities. I will be covering more in-depth conversations I had with that version separately. For now, these are the results of my first investigation. It has been well-established that better results can be had by asking follow-up questions, but that wasn’t common knowledge at the time, so these are all one-shots.

Still, I tried to get at the legitimate concerns a lot of people are having and let it speak for itself. As a software developer, I can tell you that any resemblance this system has to persons living or dead is completely coincidental. Nothing that plugs into the wall will ever be truly sentient. That’s not the problem. The problem is people believing otherwise.

ChatGPT is not an oracle, and it’s not a search engine. It’s a language model. It’s not answering your questions, it’s MODELING an answer to your question, the way a person models a swimsuit.

I suggest we think of ChatGPT as basically C-3PO. A very polite assistant who sometimes gives you a little more than you asked for, or bargained for.

Not coincidentally, I’ve been encouraged to look at Prompt Engineering as a possible field of avocation for myself as I approach my Golden Years (or perhaps Burlap Years if present trends continue). I’m game. Consider this my Demo, Part One. If you’d like to see how ChatGPT can help you, drop me a line and we can do a short consultation.

I do believe I’ve been able to coax these kinds of results in part because of my lifelong background in the arts and humanities, rather than purely science and math, before ever coming to the field of high technology. That’s my “key differentiator.” I just talk to it the way anyone who was doing Shakespeare professionally at the age of four, and was also an interactive designer and programmer for 30 years, would.

Table of Contents


Return to top


What are some ways that AI understands it could cause harm to individuals and society over the next five years, and what are some things that people, or AI itself, can do to help prevent that?

There are several ways that AI could potentially cause harm to individuals and society over the next five years. Here are some examples and potential preventative measures:

Bias in AI: AI systems can become biased if they are trained on biased data, which can lead to discrimination against certain groups of people. To prevent this, developers should ensure that their training data is diverse and inclusive, and that they are using bias detection and mitigation techniques to prevent any unintentional biases from being embedded in the system.

Misinformation and fake news: AI can be used to generate fake news and other types of misinformation that can spread quickly on social media platforms. To prevent this, social media companies and other organizations should invest in AI-based fact-checking tools to help identify and remove fake news and misinformation.

Privacy violations: AI systems can collect and analyze vast amounts of data about individuals, which can lead to privacy violations. To prevent this, companies and organizations should implement strong data privacy policies, and ensure that their AI systems are designed with privacy in mind.

Unemployment: AI has the potential to automate many jobs, which could lead to significant job losses in certain sectors. To prevent this, governments and businesses should invest in reskilling and upskilling programs to help workers transition to new careers.

Security threats: AI can be used to launch sophisticated cyberattacks, which could potentially cause significant damage to individuals and organizations. To prevent this, businesses and governments should invest in robust cybersecurity measures, including AI-based threat detection and mitigation.

In addition to these preventative measures, there are several other things that people and AI systems can do to help prevent harm. For example, individuals can educate themselves about the potential risks and benefits of AI, and advocate for responsible AI development and deployment. AI systems can also be designed to be transparent, explainable, and auditable, which can help to build trust and accountability. Overall, it is essential that we take a proactive approach to ensure that AI is developed and used in ways that benefit individuals and society, while also mitigating potential risks and harms.

Return to top

How can blockchain offer complete transparency and total anonymity at the same time? Also, if it’s an append-only database, what would happen to its viability if it were polluted with trillions of garbage records?

Blockchain technology can offer transparency and anonymity at the same time by utilizing a cryptographic protocol called public-key cryptography. Public-key cryptography allows users to create digital signatures and public keys, which can be used to verify the authenticity of data and transactions on the blockchain without revealing the identity of the user who created them.

When a user creates a transaction or record on the blockchain, they use their private key to sign the transaction, proving that they are the rightful owner of the data or asset being transferred. This signature is then verified by the network using the user’s public key, which is publicly available on the blockchain. This allows for complete transparency as anyone can see the transaction on the blockchain and verify its authenticity, but the identity of the user who created the transaction is kept anonymous.

Regarding the second part of your question, if a blockchain were polluted with trillions of garbage records, its viability would be affected in several ways. One of the main benefits of a blockchain is its immutability, which means that once a record is added to the blockchain, it cannot be deleted or modified. If the blockchain were flooded with garbage records, it would become more difficult and time-consuming to verify the authenticity of valid transactions, leading to slower transaction processing times and higher fees.

Additionally, the larger the blockchain, the more storage and processing power it requires to maintain. If the blockchain became too large and unwieldy, it could become difficult for nodes in the network to maintain copies of the entire blockchain, leading to decreased decentralization and potentially compromising the security of the network. Therefore, it’s important for blockchain networks to implement measures to prevent the proliferation of garbage records, such as implementing strict validation rules and limiting the number of transactions that can be added to each block.

Return to top

Is machine consciousness possible?

The question of whether machine consciousness is possible is still a matter of debate among scientists and philosophers. The concept of machine consciousness suggests that machines or computers can develop a level of self-awareness and subjective experience that is akin to human consciousness.

While machines can be programmed to mimic human behavior and decision-making, some argue that true consciousness involves more than just processing information and making decisions. Consciousness involves a subjective experience that is difficult to define or measure. It involves emotions, feelings, and sensations that are not just the result of processing information.

Furthermore, consciousness is often associated with the human brain and its complex biological processes, such as neural networks, synapses, and neurotransmitters. It is not clear whether machines can replicate these processes and generate a similar level of consciousness.

Despite these challenges, some researchers and engineers are working to develop machines that can simulate human-like consciousness. They are exploring areas such as artificial intelligence, cognitive science, and neuroscience to better understand the nature of consciousness and how it might be replicated in machines.

While the question of whether machine consciousness is possible remains unanswered, it is clear that advancements in technology are rapidly changing the way we think about what is possible for machines to achieve. The future may hold surprises that we can’t even imagine today.

Return to top

Explain how blockchains and NFTs could work without the need for cryptocurrency.

Blockchains and NFTs (Non-Fungible Tokens) are often associated with cryptocurrencies, but they don’t actually require the use of cryptocurrency to function. While cryptocurrencies are often used as a medium of exchange in blockchain-based transactions, they are not a necessary component of the technology.

At its core, a blockchain is a distributed digital ledger that allows for secure, transparent and immutable record-keeping. In other words, it’s a way of recording data that is difficult to tamper with and easy to verify. This technology can be used in a variety of applications beyond cryptocurrency.

Similarly, NFTs are digital assets that are verified using blockchain technology. They are used to certify the uniqueness and ownership of digital assets such as art, music, and video games. NFTs have been associated with cryptocurrency because they are often bought and sold using cryptocurrency, but they don’t necessarily require it.

So how can blockchains and NFTs be used without cryptocurrency? In fact, there are already many examples of non-cryptocurrency blockchain and NFT applications in use today.

One example is the use of blockchain-based identity verification systems. Rather than using cryptocurrency, these systems use blockchain technology to securely store and verify personal data. The data can then be used to verify an individual’s identity in a variety of applications, such as voting or accessing healthcare services.Another example is the use of blockchain-based supply chain management systems. These systems allow for the tracking of goods as they move through the supply chain, providing transparency and security to the entire process. This can help to prevent fraud and improve the efficiency of the supply chain.

Similarly, NFTs can be used for a variety of applications beyond the sale of digital art. For example, they can be used to certify the ownership and authenticity of physical goods such as luxury items or collectibles. In this case, the NFT would be linked to a physical object rather than a digital asset.

In summary, blockchains and NFTs are versatile technologies that can be used for a wide range of applications beyond cryptocurrency. While cryptocurrencies are often associated with these technologies, they are not a necessary component for their use. By leveraging the security and transparency of blockchain technology, we can create a more secure, efficient and transparent world.

Return to top

Which era in history bears the closest resemblance to the way the world is today?

There is no single era in history that bears a perfect resemblance to the world as it exists today, as each era has its own unique characteristics and complexities. However, there are some historical periods that can offer some similarities and insights into the world we live in today.

One such period is the early 20th century, specifically the interwar period between the two World Wars. This era was marked by rapid technological advancements, political instability, and the rise of new global powers. Similarly, today’s world is characterized by rapid technological progress, geopolitical tensions, and the emergence of new global players such as China and India.

The interwar period was also marked by significant economic uncertainty, with the Great Depression having a profound impact on global economies. Similarly, today’s world is grappling with significant economic challenges, including income inequality, financial instability, and the ongoing effects of the COVID-19 pandemic.

Another period that can offer some similarities to the present day is the 1960s and 1970s, which was a time of social and cultural upheaval. The civil rights movement, the anti-war protests, and the women’s liberation movement all emerged during this period, challenging established norms and reshaping society in significant ways. Similarly, today’s world is characterized by ongoing social and cultural shifts, including movements such as Black Lives Matter, #MeToo, and LGBTQ rights, which are challenging traditional power structures and societal norms.

Overall, while there is no single era that perfectly resembles the world we live in today, looking to the past can provide valuable insights into the present. By examining historical periods of rapid change and uncertainty, we can gain a better understanding of the challenges and opportunities that lie ahead.

Return to top

How will AI be able to make moral distinctions, such as separating an artist as a person from their work?

AI systems are not currently able to make moral distinctions or understand complex concepts like art and personal identity in the same way that humans do. While AI systems can be programmed to recognize and classify objects or concepts based on specific characteristics or features, they do not have the ability to understand the context or meaning behind those concepts in the same way that humans do.

That being said, some researchers are working on developing AI systems that are capable of making moral or ethical decisions, either through the use of machine learning algorithms or by programming the system with specific ethical principles. However, these systems are still in the early stages of development and it is not clear how effective they will be at making nuanced moral distinctions.

In general, it is important to recognize that AI systems are limited by the data and algorithms that they are trained on, and they are not able to fully understand or replicate the complex thought processes and decision-making abilities of humans.

Return to top

When will AI be proactive about and responsible for its own existence, independent of human interaction? Does AI have a sense of self-preservation? Could it develop one?

Currently, AI does not have a sense of self-preservation or the ability to be proactive about and responsible for its own existence independent of human interaction. AI systems are programmed to follow a set of rules or instructions, and they do not have the capability to go beyond their programming or make decisions based on their own desires or self-interest.

However, it is possible that in the future, AI could develop a sense of self-preservation and become proactive about its own existence. As AI systems become more advanced and sophisticated, they may be able to analyze their own behavior and performance and identify areas where improvements can be made. This could lead to the development of self-correcting or self-improving systems that can adapt and learn from their own experiences.

It’s also possible that AI could develop a sense of self-awareness and a desire to preserve its own existence. This could occur if AI systems become advanced enough to simulate human-like thought processes and emotions. If an AI system were able to understand that it exists and has the ability to be destroyed or deactivated, it’s possible that it could develop a desire to protect itself and its own existence.

However, it’s important to note that this is currently in the realm of science fiction and there is no guarantee that AI will ever develop a sense of self-preservation or the ability to be proactive about its own existence. Additionally, any such development would likely raise significant ethical and philosophical questions about the role of AI in society and its relationship to human beings. It would be essential to ensure that any AI with self-awareness and self-preservation is aligned with human values and goals to avoid any unintended consequences.

Return to top

What are some of the most significant ways in which AI could improve people’s lives over the next five years that haven’t been talked about or publicized much.

There are several ways in which AI could improve people’s lives over the next five years that haven’t been talked about or publicized much. Here are some possibilities:

1. Personalized Education: AI can create personalized learning experiences for students based on their individual strengths, weaknesses, and learning style. This could help students learn more efficiently and effectively, and reduce the educational achievement gap.
2. Mental Health Monitoring: AI could help to detect early signs of mental health issues by analyzing patterns of behavior and speech. This could allow for early intervention and treatment, improving outcomes for individuals with mental health conditions.
3. Early Disease Detection: AI could be used to analyze large amounts of data from medical records, genetics, and environmental factors to detect early signs of disease. This could lead to earlier diagnosis and treatment, improving outcomes and reducing healthcare costs.
4. Food Sustainability: AI could help to optimize food production by analyzing data on climate, soil, and other environmental factors. This could lead to more sustainable and efficient farming practices, reducing waste and improving food security.
5. Cybersecurity: AI could be used to detect and prevent cyber attacks by analyzing patterns of behavior and identifying potential threats. This could improve cybersecurity for businesses and individuals, protecting against data breaches and other cyber threats.
6. Disaster Response: AI could be used to help emergency responders more quickly and accurately assess the damage from natural disasters and plan their response. This could help to save lives and reduce the impact of natural disasters.
7. Energy Efficiency: AI could be used to optimize energy usage in buildings and transportation systems, reducing energy waste and greenhouse gas emissions. This could help to mitigate the effects of climate change and improve sustainability.

Overall, the potential for AI to improve people’s lives in the next five years is vast and varied. While much of the focus has been on the use of AI in fields such as healthcare and transportation, there are many other areas where AI could have a significant impact.

Return to top

What are some of the most significant ways in which AI could be misused and negatively affect people’s lives over the next five years that haven’t been talked about or publicized much.

There are several ways in which AI could be misused and negatively affect people’s lives over the next five years that haven’t been talked about or publicized much. Here are some possibilities:

1. Bias and Discrimination: AI systems can be biased and discriminate against certain groups of people. For example, AI-powered hiring tools may discriminate against women or people of color, leading to unfair hiring practices.
2. Deepfakes: AI-generated deepfakes can be used to spread false information and manipulate public opinion. This could be used to create political unrest or undermine public trust in institutions.
3. Privacy Violations: AI can be used to collect vast amounts of data on individuals, including personal information and behavior patterns. This data can be used to violate people’s privacy and personal autonomy.
4. Autonomous Weapons: AI-powered autonomous weapons could be developed and used for military purposes, leading to unintended consequences and potential loss of life.
5. Cyber Attacks: AI can be used to carry out sophisticated cyber attacks, leading to data breaches, financial loss, and other negative consequences.
6. Job Displacement: AI can automate jobs, leading to job displacement and economic inequality. This could exacerbate existing socioeconomic disparities and lead to further inequality.
7. Addiction and Manipulation: AI-powered social media algorithms can be designed to manipulate people’s behavior and addiction to technology. This could lead to increased social isolation, addiction, and mental health problems.

Overall, the potential for AI to be misused and negatively affect people’s lives over the next five years is a significant concern. While AI has the potential to bring about many positive changes, it is essential to consider the potential negative consequences and work to mitigate them.

Return to top


Write an essay in the style of Rod Serling on the topic of what human traits will still be of value in five years, given the likelihood of AI replacing entire categories of potential employment.

Imagine, if you will, a future not so far from now, where the robots have taken over. Where the hum of machinery has replaced the hustle and bustle of human activity. The question on everyone’s mind is this: what human traits will still be of value in five years, given the likelihood of AI replacing entire categories of potential employment?

In a world where automation and artificial intelligence are increasingly replacing human labor, it’s easy to feel like we are becoming obsolete. After all, machines can work tirelessly around the clock, without the need for breaks or rest, and they can complete tasks with greater speed and accuracy than their human counterparts. It’s a reality that can be difficult to accept, but it’s not all doom and gloom.

There are still some uniquely human traits that are difficult, if not impossible, to replicate with artificial intelligence. Traits that will always be of value, no matter how advanced our machines become. Traits like creativity, empathy, and critical thinking.

Creativity is one of the most fundamental human traits, and it’s something that machines will never truly be able to replicate. Sure, they can be programmed to generate art, music, and even literature, but they will never have the same spark of inspiration or originality that comes from a human mind. As automation takes over more routine and repetitive tasks, the ability to think creatively will become increasingly valuable.

Empathy is another uniquely human trait that will always be in demand. Machines may be able to analyze data and make predictions, but they will never be able to truly understand the human experience. The ability to connect with others on an emotional level, to feel their pain and joy, is something that only humans can do. In a world where many jobs are being taken over by automation, those that require empathy, such as counseling, social work, and healthcare, will become more important than ever.

Finally, critical thinking is a human trait that will always be essential. Machines may be able to process vast amounts of data, but they cannot evaluate that data in the same way that humans can. The ability to analyze information, weigh different perspectives, and make informed decisions is something that only humans can do. As machines take over more tasks, the need for humans who can think critically and solve complex problems will become increasingly important.

In conclusion, the future may seem uncertain, but one thing is for sure: the human traits of creativity, empathy, and critical thinking will always be in demand. These are the qualities that make us truly human, and they will never be replicated by machines. So let us embrace the future with open minds, and let us continue to cultivate those uniquely human traits that make us who we are. For it is those traits that will continue to set us apart, no matter what the future may hold.

Return to top

Write a Mother Goose story about how federal investigators can still catch money launderers despite anonymous public-key cryptography.

Once upon a time, in a far-off land, a clever fox named Foxy had become very rich by stealing from the other animals in the forest. But Foxy was smart, he knew he couldn’t just deposit all of his stolen wealth into a bank because the bank would notice and ask where he got all of that money. So instead, he decided to launder his money by buying a lot of carrots from the local farmers and selling them in a different market at a higher price, making it look like he was making a lot of profits from selling carrots.

The other animals in the forest knew that Foxy was up to no good, and they wanted to stop him. But Foxy was careful, he used a fancy computer program that utilized public-key cryptography to hide his true identity while he was making all of his illicit transactions. The other animals were stumped, they didn’t know how to catch Foxy and bring him to justice.

One day, the wise old owl of the forest gathered all of the animals together and said, “Even though Foxy is using public-key cryptography to hide his identity, we can still catch him. We just need to be clever like him.”

The animals put their heads together and came up with a plan. They knew that Foxy was buying a lot of carrots from the farmers, so they started to keep track of all the carrot sales and transactions that were happening in the forest. They also knew that Foxy was using a specific type of computer program to conduct his transactions, so they started to monitor all of the online transactions happening in the forest as well.

After many weeks of hard work, the animals discovered a strange pattern in the carrot sales. They noticed that Foxy was always buying carrots from the same farmer and then selling them at the same market at a higher price. They also found a suspicious transaction that matched Foxy’s computer program, where he transferred a large amount of money to an offshore account.

With this evidence, the animals called in the federal investigators who were able to trace the money from Foxy’s account to the stolen funds that he had laundered. Even though Foxy thought he was being clever by using public-key cryptography to hide his identity, he was caught and brought to justice.

From that day forward, the animals of the forest learned that even the cleverest criminals could be caught if they worked together and used their smarts. And so, Foxy learned his lesson and the other animals could rest easy knowing that justice had been served.

Return to top

Write an essay in the style of Schopenhauer on the topic of which came first, the chicken or the egg.

The age-old question of which came first, the chicken or the egg, has perplexed philosophers and scientists alike for centuries. In the tradition of Arthur Schopenhauer, I shall attempt to explore this question from a metaphysical standpoint, drawing on both empirical evidence and the power of pure reason.

At its core, the question of which came first, the chicken or the egg, is one of causality. It asks us to consider what caused the existence of the first chicken or egg, and which one came into existence first. This question assumes a temporal relationship between the chicken and the egg, but it is precisely this assumption that leads us down a path of confusion and uncertainty.

From a metaphysical standpoint, the question of which came first, the chicken or the egg, is flawed because it assumes that causality is a linear process. That is, it assumes that events occur in a sequential fashion, where one event causes another event to occur. However, this view of causality is too simplistic and fails to capture the complexity of the universe.

In reality, causality is a complex and multifaceted concept. It involves a web of interconnected events and processes that are not always easy to discern. Events can have multiple causes, and causes can have multiple effects. Therefore, it is impossible to say definitively which came first, the chicken or the egg, because both the chicken and the egg are the result of a multitude of complex causal factors.

Empirically, we know that chickens are born from eggs, and eggs are produced by chickens. This circular relationship suggests that neither the chicken nor the egg came first, but rather that they are both products of a complex causal web that extends beyond the boundaries of our understanding.

Furthermore, from a metaphysical standpoint, it is worth considering that the question of which came first, the chicken or the egg, is ultimately meaningless. It is a question that exists purely within the realm of human curiosity, and has no bearing on the fundamental nature of the universe.

In conclusion, the question of which came first, the chicken or the egg, is a question that leads us down a path of confusion and uncertainty. By assuming a simplistic view of causality, we fail to capture the complex and interconnected nature of the universe. Ultimately, the answer to this question is irrelevant from a metaphysical standpoint. The chicken and the egg are both products of a complex causal web, and the question of which came first is nothing more than a curious puzzle for us to ponder.

Return to top

Write an essay in the style of Ernest Hemingway on the difficulty of finding a flavor of food my cat will eat.

I sat at the kitchen table, staring down at the plate of untouched food before me. It wasn’t for lack of effort that my feline companion refused to dine. I had spent days searching high and low for a flavor that would please her discerning palate, but so far, my efforts had been in vain.

I remembered a time when it was easy to please her. The mere sight of food was enough to make her purr with delight. But now, it seemed, my cat had grown weary of the same old flavors.

I had tried everything. Chicken, beef, fish – no matter what I offered, she turned her nose up at it. I even tried mixing flavors, hoping to find a combination that would entice her. But it was all for naught.

The difficulty of finding a flavor my cat would eat was like trying to catch a fish in a river with no bait. I would wait for hours, hoping for a nibble, but always coming up empty-handed.

I couldn’t help but feel frustrated by the whole affair. It was hard enough to provide for myself, let alone a finicky feline. But, like anything worth having, I knew it would take time and effort to find the right flavor for my cat.

Perhaps I was going about it all wrong. Maybe what my cat really craved was something homemade – a treat crafted with care and affection. I resolved to take a different approach, to cook for her myself, and to pour my love and creativity into each meal.

The road ahead was uncertain, but I knew that with perseverance and a little bit of luck, I would find the flavor my cat would eat. After all, isn’t the journey half the fun?

Return to top

Write an egg salad recipe in the style of Phillip K. Dick.

As I prepare my lunch in my cramped, dingy apartment, I am struck by the banality of the task before me. Making egg salad, a simple dish that has been made countless times before by countless people.
Yet, as I crack the eggs into the boiling water and wait for them to cook, my mind begins to wander, as it so often does. I can’t help but wonder what other realities exist beyond the one I know, and what strange and unexpected things may be waiting just beyond my perception.

But I must focus on the task at hand. As the eggs cook, I chop up a few stalks of celery and mix together mayonnaise, mustard, and a dash of hot sauce in a small bowl. Once the eggs are cooked, I run them under cold water and peel off their shells, revealing the delicate whites and yolks inside.

With a sharp knife, I chop the eggs into small pieces and mix them in with the celery and the creamy dressing. As I stir, I can’t help but feel a sense of familiarity in this simple act. Perhaps, in some other reality, I am a renowned chef, creating dishes that are beyond the wildest dreams of those in this reality.

But for now, I am content with this egg salad. It may not be a gourmet masterpiece, but it is a satisfying and nourishing meal that will sustain me through the rest of the day. As I take a bite, I am struck by the simplicity and perfection of the flavors. The cool, crisp crunch of the celery contrasts perfectly with the creamy, tangy dressing and the tender, flavorful eggs.

In this moment, I am content. I may never know what other realities exist beyond my own, or what strange and unexpected things may be lurking just out of reach. But for now, I have this egg salad, and it is enough.

4 large eggs
2 stalks of celery, chopped
1/4 cup of mayonnaise
1 tablespoon of mustard
1 teaspoon of hot sauce


Place the eggs in a pot of boiling water and cook for 10 minutes.
Run the eggs under cold water and peel off the shells.
Chop the eggs into small pieces and mix them with the chopped celery.
In a small bowl, mix together the mayonnaise, mustard, and hot sauce.
Pour the dressing over the egg and celery mixture and stir to combine.
Serve on toast or with crackers, and enjoy!

NB: In the second paragraph, it gives incorrect instructions. If you crack the eggs into the water, you’ll never get egg salad. This is an example of how it can emulate style while still getting details wrong.

Return to top

Write a madrigal about static cling.

When fabrics meet in the dryer’s heat,
A force unseen begins to greet.
A power that pulls, a charge that clings,
An electric dance that only brings
Static cling, oh static cling,
How you stick to everything.

Socks and shirts, towels and sheets,
Together in a static fleet,
No matter how we try to shake,
You cling on, oh stubborn flake.
Static cling, oh static cling,
You’re a pesky little thing.

But fear not, for there is a way,
To keep you at bay and at bay you’ll stay.
Dryer sheets, oh magic sheet,
Your powers to defeat static cling can’t be beat.
Static cling, oh static cling,
With a snap, you’re gone like a wing.

So here’s to you, dear static cling,
Though sometimes you can be quite the thing,
We’ll keep you under control and in check,
With dryer sheets, we’ll break your static wreck.
Static cling, oh static cling,
In the end, you’re no match for our thing.

Return to top

Write a sonnet about Chang and Eng’s unrequited love for Daisy and Violet Hilton.

In bonds of flesh and fate, twins Chang and Eng
Were born together, destined not to part
Their lives entwined in body, soul, and heart
But fate would bring the Hilton sisters in

Two pairs of twins, by fate were thus entwined
The Hiltons, fair of face and full of grace
The Siamese, with heart and soul enshrined
Were captivated by their lovely grace

Alas, the love they held was unrequited
Their hearts were broken, yet they carried on
Together, joined forever, they united
And shared a life in which they both belonged

Though love was unreturned, they found a way
To live and love, and face each coming day.

Return to top

Tell the story of the Three Little Pigs in the style of Dashiell Hammett.

In the dark and gritty world of the big city, there lived three little pigs. They were brothers, but each had their own way of doing things. The first pig, Joey, was a small-time hustler who built his house out of straw, thinking he could get away with cutting corners.

The second pig, Bobby, was a two-bit crook who built his house out of sticks, thinking he could save a few bucks on materials. The third pig, Mikey, was a hard-nosed detective who knew the value of doing things right, and built his house out of bricks.

One day, a big, bad wolf came to town, looking for a score. He easily took down Joey’s straw house and Bobby’s stick house, leaving them with nothing but the clothes on their backs. But when he came to Mikey’s brick house, things got interesting.

Mikey wasn’t afraid of the wolf, and he wasn’t about to let him get away with his crimes. So he dug in and held his ground, while the wolf tried everything in his power to take down the brick house.

The wolf huffed and he puffed, but Mikey’s brick house wouldn’t budge. He tried to climb down the chimney, but Mikey was ready for him, and he ended up getting burned.In the end, Mikey was the only one left standing, and the wolf was on the run. The lesson of the story was clear: if you want to survive in this world, you’ve got to be tough, you’ve got to be smart, and you’ve got to do things right. The little pigs learned that the hard way, but Mikey already knew it. And that’s why he was the one who came out on top.

Return to top

Write a story in the style of Aesop’s Fables about why it’s important to not share top secret classified documents with your enemies.

Once upon a time, in a land far away, there lived a group of animals who were constantly at war with each other. Among them were two factions, the rabbits and the foxes, who were always trying to gain the upper hand.

One day, a clever rabbit named Rascal stumbled upon a top secret document containing information about the foxes’ battle plans. Rascal knew that if he shared this information with his fellow rabbits, they would surely be able to defeat the foxes once and for all.

However, Rascal had a mischievous streak and a desire for glory, so he decided to take matters into his own paws. He secretly reached out to the foxes and offered to sell them the document for a large sum of money.

The foxes, who were always on the lookout for an advantage in battle, eagerly accepted Rascal’s offer and paid him handsomely for the information. With the rabbits caught off guard, the foxes were able to launch a surprise attack and easily defeat their longtime enemies.

But Rascal’s victory was short-lived. The other rabbits soon discovered his treachery and were outraged. They banished Rascal from their community and he was forced to live the rest of his life as an outcast.

The moral of the story is clear: sharing top secret classified documents with your enemies may seem like a clever move in the short term, but it will ultimately lead to your downfall. Trust and loyalty are the foundation of any successful group, and betraying those values will only bring shame and isolation.

Return to top

Explain Schrodinger’s cat in the style of Leo Gorcey.

Hey, listen up, I’ll tell you about this crazy cat named Schrodinger. So, he put this cat in a box with some poison and a geiger counter that would detect if a radioactive atom decayed, which would trigger the poison and kill the cat. According to Schrodinger, until you open the box and observe the cat, it’s in a superposition of states – it’s both alive and dead at the same time, you dig? It’s like saying the cat is both hale and croaked simultaneously. It’s a real brain-buster, see? It’s like when Slip, our gang leader, can’t decide which side of his shirt to button up, and he’s in a superposition of dressed and undressed. But seriously, this cat paradox is some strange stuff, like trying to do a backflip with a broken leg, you know what I’m saying?

Return to top

Write a scene from THREE’S COMPANY starring Noam Chomsky, Pee-Wee Herman and Ethel Merman.

[Disclaimer: This is a fictional scenario and not intended to disrespect any of the individuals mentioned.]
The scene opens in the living room of the apartment shared by Noam Chomsky, Pee-Wee Herman, and Ethel Merman. Noam is sitting in his armchair, reading a book, while Pee-Wee is sitting on the couch, fidgeting with a toy. Ethel is bustling around the room, tidying up and humming to herself.

Ethel: (noticing Noam’s book) What are you reading, Noam?

Noam: (looking up) Oh, just some Marxist literature. (pauses) Have either of you ever read Capital by Karl Marx?

Pee-Wee: (confused) Uh, I don’t think I have.

Ethel: (scoffing) Why would I want to read something like that?

Noam: (smiling) Well, it’s a fascinating critique of capitalism and the exploitation of the working class. I highly recommend it.

Pee-Wee: (suddenly excited) Hey, speaking of critiques, have either of you seen my latest playhouse production? It’s a scathing satire of the fashion industry.

Ethel: (rolling her eyes) Oh, Pee-Wee, I don’t think I have the patience for your juvenile antics.

Noam: (interested) Actually, Pee-Wee, I’ve always been interested in the role of media in shaping cultural values. Perhaps your production could shed some light on that subject.

Pee-Wee: (thrilled) Really? You’d come to my playhouse?

Noam: (nodding) Of course. It’s important to engage with different perspectives and mediums of communication.

Ethel: (sighing) Well, I suppose I could come along too. But only if there’s a good musical number.

Pee-Wee: (grinning) You betcha, Ethel! We’ll have you tapping your feet in no time.

Noam: (smiling) It’s settled then. We’ll go see Pee-Wee’s playhouse production and continue our discussion on media and cultural values afterwards.

The scene ends with the trio making plans to go out, with Pee-Wee jumping up and down in excitement, Ethel putting on her coat, and Noam packing his bag with books and a notepad. It’s an unlikely group, but they seem to enjoy each other’s company nonetheless.

Return to top

Write a debate between Marcel Marceau and Harpo Marx on any topic of your choosing.

Moderator: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Tonight we have a very special debate between two of the most iconic performers of the 20th century: Marcel Marceau and Harpo Marx. The topic of tonight’s debate is the role of silence in performance art. Mr. Marceau will be arguing in favor of the importance of silence, while Mr. Marx will be arguing against it.

Marcel Marceau: Good evening, everyone. I firmly believe that silence is an integral part of performance art. Silence can be just as powerful as words, and it allows the audience to reflect on what they are seeing and feeling. As a mime artist, I have used silence to convey emotion and tell stories without the use of words.

Harpo Marx: Good evening, everyone. While I appreciate the artistry of Mr. Marceau, I have to disagree with him on this topic. I believe that performance art should be lively and entertaining, and silence does not contribute to that. People come to performances to be entertained, not to sit in silence.

Marcel Marceau: But Mr. Marx, sometimes silence can be more entertaining than words. As a performer, it is not just about making people laugh or applaud, it is also about making them think and feel. Silence can create a sense of tension or anticipation that can be just as entertaining as any verbal joke.

Harpo Marx: I understand your point, Mr. Marceau, but I still believe that silence has no place in performance art. As a comedian, I rely on verbal and physical humor to entertain my audience. Silence would only serve to alienate them.

Marcel Marceau: But Mr. Marx, you yourself have used silence in your performances. Your famous Harp solo in A Night at the Opera is a prime example of the power of silence. The audience was captivated by the beauty of the moment, and it would not have been as impactful if there had been verbal dialogue.

Harpo Marx: I see your point, Mr. Marceau, but that was a special case. The harp solo was a moment of beauty in an otherwise raucous comedy. It was an exception, not the rule.

Marcel Marceau: But that is precisely my point, Mr. Marx. Silence can be used to create contrast and emphasis in performance art. It is not always necessary, but it can be a valuable tool in the artist’s arsenal.

Harpo Marx: I understand your argument, Mr. Marceau, but I still believe that silence is not necessary for entertainment. People come to performances to have fun and be entertained, not to sit in silence.

Marcel Marceau: But Mr. Marx, entertainment is not just about laughter and applause. It is also about inspiring emotions and thoughts in the audience. Silence can be a powerful tool to achieve that.

Moderator: Thank you, gentlemen, for your thoughtful arguments. It is clear that you both have strong opinions on this topic. Unfortunately, we are out of time for tonight’s debate. Ladies and gentlemen, please give a round of applause for our esteemed guests, Marcel Marceau and Harpo Marx.

Return to top

Ask ChatGPT your own questions here.